On Being the Boss: Leadership, Boundaries, and the Power of Coaching

For a long time, I operated my business like a cooperative. I didn’t move forward on significant changes unless I’d built consensus. That approach worked well for a small, nimble consultancy. However, as the business has grown, and as I’ve stepped fully into my role as Principal, I’ve been learning how to lead in a way that balances my team’s experience with my own clarity about what the business needs to thrive.

Last year, I floated the idea of implementing project management software. The reaction from the team was mixed—some underwhelm, some resistance. The general sentiment was, “That’s just one more thing to manage.” So I shelved the idea, assuming it wasn’t worth the disruption. In hindsight, I wasn’t just asking whether the software would support the team, I was (unknowingly) asking for permission to implement a tool that would make me a better manager. I put my needs on ice because they weren’t shared by the group. And I did that more often than I realized.

Around the same time, I started working with a management coach. That changed everything. As the person responsible for admin, operations, growth, and vision, I needed a space where I could be honest about the things I didn’t feel comfortable bringing to my team—my anxiety about pricing, my own compensation, the tension between grounding and growth. Coaching gave me language for my own needs. It gave me a partner who could hold up a mirror, show me my strengths, challenge my blind spots, and help me step fully into the role I was already occupying. It taught me how to advocate for myself in the business I’ve built, and that has made me a more thoughtful, more confident leader.

Now, when I bring something to the team, I can say: “Here’s what I need. Here’s what I’m hearing from you. And here’s where we’re going.” I don’t just ask whether something works for them; I ask what they need to be successful as we try something new. I’ve gotten more comfortable nudging folks out of their comfort zones, and more curious about what support looks like to them.

We’ve implemented new processes for working with contractors, we meet weekly to strengthen our team culture, and we’re investing in shared learning. We’ve built trust through real conversations, including ones where I name my own insecurities, clarify my intentions, and ask for grace when I’m learning out loud.

I still care deeply about my team’s happiness. But I’ve moved the goalpost. Now I’m focused on supporting their success, and helping them enjoy the work along the way. That shift, from consensus builder to decision maker, has been challenging and incredibly worthwhile. This growth didn’t happen overnight. It’s the product of coaching, reflection, and a willingness to lead more honestly.

I used to think leadership was about making sure everyone else was OK. Now I know it’s also about making sure I am OK, and leading from that place of clarity.